she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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