I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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