i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
