My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We are two peas in an std pod
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
