How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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