we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
worst night to have a conscience
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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