i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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