mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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