i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
