So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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