Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
