Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
