apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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