Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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