Need sex. Gaining weight.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize