Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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