Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need to calm my uterus...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
