you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
