yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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