Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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