I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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