sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I am available for nakedness
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
