happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
