actually, I'm a sock model
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
