please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
