a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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