I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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