Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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