She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
