Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
