Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
