I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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