My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize