Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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