Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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