so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
