Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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