so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Less talking, more tequila
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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