How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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