Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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