3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
this hospital has no fireball
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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