he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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