Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
