I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I need water and some morals
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
