she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
