i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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