Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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