i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up under a house in Key West
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