sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
