So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish my penis had a tongue
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
