she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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