Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
