i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
