i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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