he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
please don't ironically join a cult
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