i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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