we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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