you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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