just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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