seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
