I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
